Our first night home from the hospital was honestly
miserable. I love my sweet boy so
much. I didn’t know I could love someone
that much. (Except his daddy, of course.
But let’s be honest—it’s a different kind of love.) Devin and I left the
hospital feeling terrified to let the child be left alone doing anything. That night, that kid was held by one of us
the ENTIRE NIGHT. We took two hour
shifts. One of us would be holding him
and watching TV while the other slept, then two hours later we’d switch. 7:00 AM came and I called my mom dang near in
tears. We were SO tired. My mom and dad came and watched him while
Devin and I slept. I have never felt so
defeated in my entire life. Sleep
deprivation after having a baby is no joke. 
After waking up from
our much needed nap, we went about our Sunday routine as usual. We had lunch with Devin’s family and dinner
with mine. With the time change, I knew
that I was going to struggle. We all
know I have anxiety anyways—add pregnancy hormones on top of it and you’ve got
yourself a hot mess! Devin was taking a
nap on the couch and I knew it was about time to go home for the night. I was holding my little baby and I all of a
sudden became so overwhelmed. I couldn’t
even breathe. I had to hand Tanner off
to my dad to hold and I went in and laid down by Devin and I cried. Correction—I bawled. Devin was going back to work so I knew he
wouldn’t be able to help me during the night as much as he did the night before
and that literally scared the bajeebers out of me. Devin got my mom and that sweet woman offered
to come and spend the night with me. She
has been such an angel with me becoming a new mom. She and LaDawn both have. LaDawn did my laundry and made most of our
meals for us, while mom helped me get around to Tanner’s doctor appointments
and slept over four different nights so that Devin and I could sleep. I wouldn’t have been able to wake up with Tanner,
feed him, change his bum, and then spend the next half hour pumping. I would have died.
My mom was able to get sleep too while she was here (if you
could call it that) by getting Tanner to sleep in his swing. The hospital scared us when it came to where
baby slept and that’s why Devin and I stayed up all night with him. We felt he was safer in one of our arms than
anywhere else. Mom’s had five children
so she knew right what to do. She put
him in his swing and he just rocked all night long. I was going to breastfeed, but with my mom
staying over and if I wanted Devin to get up in the night with him (especially
since I’m going back to work) formula just seemed best. I did pump though. According to my dad, my grandma Bonnie could
produce enough milk for an army it seemed like. I got my genes from her! I’ve since weaned myself from pumping and I
currently only pump once a day. Enough
to give him some sort of nutrients from me.
We went to his first doctor appointment two days after we
got home from the hospital. Dr. Rogers
at Pediatrics Budge is his doctor and we just love him! He is so great with kids. Mom went with me to his first appointment
because Devin had to work. He did have a
little bit of what seemed to be an eye problem.
Dr. Rogers recommended us to an eye doctor to make sure that he was
ok. My uncle Krey is an eye doctor at
Eyemart in Idaho Falls. They just opened
an Eyemart here in Logan so my mom gave him a call and explained the situation
to him and asked if one of the doctors here could look at Tanner. Dr. Broschinsky talked with my uncle and was
willing to see Tanner. Tanner was his
youngest patient at just five days old! Luckily everything is ok with
Tanner. He has some tissue that is being
squished so when Dr. Rogers was looking at his eyes, his pupil looked squiggly
instead of perfectly round.
FIRST POOP
CATASTROPHE: Tanner had just leaked
through his diaper. Literally peed all
over me and all over my pillow. So I went to change his bum. I was using my
left hand to make sure that he didn’t roll off his changing table, and my right
hand to open his new diaper. I heard his tummy grumbling and I looked down just
in time to see POOP SHOOT OUT OF HIS CUTE LITTLE BUM AND I CAUGHT IT IN MY
HAND. I yelled “oh sh**” (poor T heard mama swear *face palm*) Devin came
running into the bedroom thinking tanner was dead or something and he saw me
holding his poop and he literally fell to the floor laughing. AND HE WOULDN’T
STOP LAUGHING. Like he was laughing so hard and long the poop DRIED IN MY HAND.
It was so funny and so awful. So yeah... That’s our first poop story!
We have decided that our sweet little boy is colicky. That is not fun. I tell Devin all the time that new babies,
new moms and new dads should not be allowed to be sick! It’s just wrong!! We’re not getting much
sleep now. We’ve changed his formula
four times. We’ve used one Similac and
three Parent Choice formulas. We think
we have found one, but he still has an upset tummy. Gripe water has been our life saver!
We are back at work. We came back on 11/28/2018. I had a lot of anxiety about coming
back. I just don’t want to annoy my
coworkers when he cries, but after talking to a couple of them, I have to just
not let that bug me. I’m a new mom with
a boss who is incredible enough to let me bring my child to work. If she didn’t want him here, she’d tell
me.
This month has been hard and the last couple of days have been
harder. Going back to work with a
newborn is exhausting. We’re making it,
but we’re exhausted. I love this sweet
boy and I can’t wait to see what happens in the next month of his life.
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