Goodbye 2020!

 2020 really hasn't been that bad. My family has been really blessed! As always, I try to make goals that I could easily keep during the new year. This next year I have a main goal of being more present with my family, and learn how to better deal with my anxiety. It's no secret that I have bad anxiety. In fact, I openly talk about it and try not to make it seem like its a negative thing.

This will be the 8th year celebrating the holidays with Devin, but the first year that we will be apart. Tanner and I came to Roberts to see my grandpa with my family. Dev had some work to do this year so he just stayed home. It is definitely weird not having him here with us!

I'm trying hard to come and see family, especially when my parents come here to Idaho. After grandma died, I really regretted not coming up more. Especially when D and I lived in Ammon. Now that I'm not working, its definitely alot easy for me to come up. I enjoy every minute of it too!

We plan on ringing in the new year by going shooting. I take any opportunity that I can to go shooting, especially now that I carry.

I know that 2020 has been awful for alot of people. I hope they know that God loves them and has a plan for them. Sometimes I know that it doesn't feel that way but I truly hope they know that their Savior loves them.

Christmas 2020

Ahhh...the world’s favorite holiday in one of the worst years. CHRISTMAS 2020. We had a beautiful Christmas morning. We woke up at about 7:30 (thanks T!) and opened our family presents.  Tanner got a scooter from Santa and a suitcase, pair of slippers, and books from mom and dad. We opened Christmas presents from mama Dawn and Papa Jedd on the 24th. It was marvelous! He got a cute bucking bull, puzzles, blocks and new clothes from them. Uncle Derik got him a cool race track that he just absolutely loves!! 

Christmas morning, after we opened presents, we went to mama and papa Jedd’s house for breakfast. We ate crumbly toast, bacon and hash browns. A Christmas breakfast tradition! (Christmas Eve we also ate a tradition that grandpa Rodney used to eat with papa Jedd—cooked red cabbage! Y’all....YUM! *insert drooling emoji*) 

After breakfast we went to grandma Rees and papa Donald’s house for presents and lunch. We ate ham, homemade rolls, yams, potatoes and gravy and stuffing. (Homemade stuffing — grandma Shirleys recipe!) As usual we were spoiled by everyone on Christmas. 

After lunch, we ran down to my parents house. They opened their presents at like 8 that morning, but always save sibling gifts for when everyone is together. Jason finally got his guzzler...he’s only been asking for it for like..3 years now lol! Ken got me new stamping polish. Yay!! We got my dad a bunch of things for his reloading kit. I’m excited for him to reload, especially since my 9mm ammo is so expensive right now! 

My little brothers, Leo and Eduardo, came down for Christmas. It’s always so fun to see them! They really have become like family to us and we just love them to pieces! It’s nice having them close so they can come and visit or we can visit them when we’re in Idaho. 

We tried hard to teach Tanner about our Savior and he definitely knows who baby Jesus is! We are so grateful for our Savior and that we have had the opportunity, year after year, to celebrate his birth. Merry Christmas everyone! Here’s to 2021!

Merry Christmas!

This year has been whack.  We all know that!  Anyone else remember when their moms would type up a sheet of paper saying how old you and each of your siblings were and what you had been up to? Or is it just me?  No offence to anyone, but I don't want to waste money on stamps for something you're just gonna throw away! So consider this your detailed "Christmas Card" and also an update since my last post.  

I want to start by putting my favorite Christmas Poem.  It is seriously my favorite and I want to read it to my kids every year.  Helps me most definitely remember the real reason for this beautiful season

SANTA'S PRAYER ON CHRISTMAS EVE

The sleigh was packed, the reindeer were fed,

But Santa still knelt by the side of his bed.

"Dear Father," he prayed "Be with me tonight,

There's much work to do and my schedule is tight.

I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky,

Knowing full well a reindeer can't fly.

I will visit each household before the first light,

I'll cover the world and all in one night.

With sleigh bells a-ringing, I'll stand on each roof,

Amid the soft clatter of each little hoof.

To get in the house is the difficult part,

So i'll slide down the chimney of each child's heart.

My sack will hold toys to grant all their wishes,

The supply will be endless like the loaves and the fishes.

I will fill all the stockings and not leave a track,

I'll eat every cookie that is left for my snack.

I can do all these things Lord, only through You,

I just need your blessing, then it's easy to do.

All this to honor the birth of the One,

That was sent to redeem us, Your most Holy Son.

So to all of my friends, least Your glory I rob,

Please Lord, remind them, who gave me this job."

Tanner: This year Tanner has grown so much!! He talks like he's been talking for years.  It honestly just astonishes me how many words he knows.  He is learning so much every day!  This year he went to Jackson Hole.  We had other trips planned, but thanks to COVID, like many of you, they were postponed.  He is learning to say "me", "mine", and "I" while talking instead of just saying "Tanner".   He turned 2 years old this year and we had Puppy Dog Pals themed parties.  We were going to do one big party with my family and Devins, but decided to do one at both houses instead of gathering everyone together.  

Tanner loves to watch any tractor show on YouTube and watches Puppy Dog Pals.  He loves to ride his trike and his car and play with puzzles and read books.  He's not as great of an eater as he was last year, but honestly I'm not even surprised because he's two.  He does love Bob's soup, healthy rice and anything CHOCOLATE.  He loves Ghirardelli Peppermint Bark and Oreos.  He had surgery in February and again in August.  He handled both of them like a big boy and is sleeping so much better now! (He had his adenoids and tonsils taken out.)  I am pretty sure he had COVID when I had it, but I did not get him tested again because I felt it was unnecessary to put him through a nasal swab again after the experience of doing it before his surgery in August. 

Tanner loves to play with his dog, Aggie and loves to play with Hadley. He loves playing on the playset we put in this year and running around the yard/jumping on the tramp. He enjoys going to both sets of grandparents houses and is such a love bug!  We absolutely adore him.

                                            He played outside with Devin for over an hour! 

                                                                Waiting for Santa Claus! 

                                                                            My love bug!  

Devin:  Devin's been working from home since March.  A couple of days before his birthday is when he came to work at home.  He's been stuck in our bedroom ever since! haha!  He's been excelling at his job at ICON and really enjoys working for them.  This year he upgraded his truck and loves his new one! (new to us.....;) Devin usually isn't a pop drinker but this year he's made exceptions because why the heck not. It's 2020! lol! This year has been really good for him work wise and thankfully he was able to keep his job during the pandemic! 

Jess: This year was big for me! At the beginning of the year, I was working full time for Central Billing Office.  By May I was working part-time and by November 12th I was home for good.  It has been such a blessing to me to be able to be home with my baby!! Honestly that's about the biggest thing that has happened to me personally.  Dr. Pepper is running through my veins more this year than any other year.  But I'm 100% here for it and I ain't even mad. In fact, make it even better by adding some raspberry and coconut shots into it.  Thank me later!   Devin did buy me a new camera a couple days ago and I absolutely love it!! I didn't want to wait for Christmas because I wanted to be able to have it set up in the living room on Christmas Day.  My parents always had the video camera set up on Christmas Morning and they would record our Christmas's.  Now, it's not a video camera, but it's perfect for me!! Its a Canon EOS Rebel T7.  I seriously couldn't be more grateful for how 2020 has been.  Yes, it has been an absolute sh*t show and I've had to quarantine more times then I ever care to again, but we have been extremely blessed.  

Crockpot ravioli and homemade Italian Seasoning

I absolutely hate it when you are reading a recipe from some fancy, has all the time in the world, blogger and it takes you HALF AN HOUR just to get to the real recipe.  Anyone else or just me?

I must not have life inspiring stories to tell you about how I found this recipe.  I wasn't visiting the Eiffel Tower or sitting on a beach in Mexico when this was served to me.  D just found it on the internet haha -- with that being said, let's just get right to it.  Tonight for dinner I am making crockpot ravioli.  I have found that I love making my own Italian seasoning when I make recipes using tomato/pasta sauce.  

Italian Seasoning:

Equal parts of:

Marjoram

Parsley

Basil

Oregano

Thyme

Rosemary

Sage

Garlic powder

Most of the herbs I grow on my own, which makes me feel even fancier haha!

Crockpot Ravioli:

Pasta sauce (we use Hunts Four Cheese)

1 lbs hamburger

Italian seasoning (I use my homemade seasoning)

1 package frozen ravioli

Mozzarella cheese

Layer the bottom of the crockpot with some pasta sauce and a little bit of hamburger.  Add half of ravioli package, sprinkle with cheese.  Repeat layers. Top with cheese.  Cook on low for 4 hours.

Tada!  So easy and so dang tasty!! We like serving ours with garlic bread and green peas, corn or broccoli.  

What's the big deal?

"What's the big deal?"

These are the words my mom told me yesterday -- and boy did I need them!  I struggle really bad with anxiety, as a lot of people know.  I don't know why, but the last few months, my anxiety has gotten even worse.  I stress over EVERYTHING.  I stress about what we're going to do for Sunday dinner, what happens if it snows when we're suppose to be going to Idaho?  WHY CAN'T I GET PREGNANT AS EASILY AS I DID WITH TANNER?  I have to have a plan for everything and it drives me absolutely nuts if I don't.  It really stresses Devin when I get like this.  Which is 100% fair.  I struggled with Thanksgiving.  The not knowing who we were going to eat with, what we were cooking or if we were going Black Friday shopping.

Yesterday I was talking to my mom about going to Idaho for Christmas.  I absolutely hate driving in the snow.  Especially after my car accident.  I was told by a friend that there's supposed to be a snow storm over Christmas.  I started texting my mom about whether or not we would go if it did snow.  I feel like if I don't go, while all my other family members do go, that I would "be in trouble".  My mom called and told me, "What's the big deal? You need to stop you're self and ask that.  What's the big deal if you don't go to Idaho?  You're not going to be in trouble.  You're going to be home with your family.  What's the big deal if you don't know what we're having for Sunday dinner until Saturday night?  Don't let something so silly consume you.  You can pack on Christmas Eve, and if it storms and we decide not to go? Oh well!"  That was pretty much the conversation that she had with me.  

Those words have already helped me so much and it hasn't even been 24 hours.  That should tell you how much anxiety I have right now.  LOL!  

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was definitely different this year.  Originally, Tanner and I were planning on traveling to Idaho with my family to spend Thanksgiving with the Jackson's this year.  But thanks to me, I gave Lindsie COVID.  We then planned on doing Thanksgiving with Devin's family, but they were feeling weird and ended up having COVID tests done as well, thankfully theirs all came back negative.  We ended up having dinner with my family.  Lindsie stayed in her room except for when she came and got dinner, and other than that we really enjoyed ourselves.  She was pretty much done with her quarantine anyways.

Thursday night, LaDawn messaged me saying that her and Jedd's tests came back negative! Wahoo!! Lucky for me, because their tests were negative, they were kind enough to watch T while I did some Black Friday shopping.  Black Friday and Vintage Market Days are the two consistent traditions I have with my mom and sisters. Dad joins us on Black Friday.  He used to despise it but now I think he's more excited for it than we are!  

We woke up bright and early and shopped our hearts out. Usually we wear matching sweaters, but some of us have gotten taller, wider and more pregnant (Lindsie taller, me wider and Allie more pregnant haha!) We had our usual shenanigans happen and the funniest story from this year was L falling on her face (literally!) while in Hobby Lobby!  Mom and I were in a different isle, but all of a sudden we could hear my dad bellering from a couple isles away.  We get over there and Lindsie, Allie and Dad are all bent over laughing.  I guess L was trying to pop a wheeley on the cart and lost her footing.  She started running while trying to catch herself, the cart ran into my dad, tipped over with Lindsie landing face first in the cart.  I legit tried asking an employee if they had cameras but they weren't taking me seriously! 

I legit have 95% of my Christmas shopping done and I couldn't be more excited!! I literally have two gifts on the way and have like, two more to get. Now that I am a stay at home mom too, I have the wonderful opportunity to wrap all these presents and I absolutely love it!! I LOVE wrapping paper and I always buy the cutest paper from current catalog.  

We celebrated Grandma Ree's birthday on December 3rd and Mama Dawns birthday on December 5th.  It's been really different since COVID is around.  Normally we go out to dinner as a family to celebrate both birthdays, but this year we just brought back Olive Garden.  I ordered the salmon from there and I am a huge fan!! I love salmon from Maddox and decided to try it from Olive Garden.  DELICIOUS.  

Last weekend, we watched the Grinch from 2018 and Tanner watched the entire thing!  It was so dang cute watching him watch that show.  He absolutely loved it.  We also made our gingerbread house last night.  We're trying so hard this year to make Christmas extra special!!

COVID, you thief!

Now, I don’t usually swear (D..mom..dad..siblings..unroll your eyeballs and finish the sentence. Lol!!) in my social media posts..but I gotta tell you how I feel. 

COVID’s a bitch, y’all. 

A freaking thief. 

When the pandemic started back in March, I legit did not think that I would be laying here on my air mattress, in my living room, avoiding my husband as to not get him sick, the week before THANKSGIVING.  Now, before anyone chastises Devin about why I’m the one sleeping on the air mattress, let’s just straighten this out right now. I sleep on the air mattress, in the living room because Devin’s desk is in our room.  He’s literally been living in our bedroom for the last week (working from home since March) while I had COVID, so we could reduce his chances of getting it. Even though I had COVID, doesn’t mean my mom responsibilities stopped. I still had to take care of Tanner, make food, clean and sanitize the house, and it was just easier for D to lock himself in our bedroom so we could have the rest of the house and keep Tanners daily life somewhat normal. It did take some convincing and arguing, but Dev finally agreed to let me sleep out here. 

I cannot believe how big of a thief COVID is. It’s robbing us of our lives and I didn’t even know it until it robbed me. 

It’s robbed us of our sense of normalcy. 

It’s robbed us of our church meetings. 

It’s robbed us of our education. 

It’s robbed us of jobs. 

It’s robbed our loved ones of their LIVES. 

It’s robbed us of our family time. 

I didn’t realize everything that COVID took away from us until it came to my house.  I couldn’t go grocery shopping. I can’t take my sweet boy to see his grandparents. I won’t be able to see my grandma K after she goes into her nursing home on Monday until they allow visitors..and who the hell knows when that will be! We can’t have play dates, or maverick dates or any kind of “date”. 

I used to think that I wouldn’t catch COVID because I’m relatively healthy. I wash my hands. I take my vitamins. I admit that I’d run a quick errand and forget my mask.  When I got COVID, I realized that I was wearing my mask and the person I got it from was not. 

The mask isn’t to protect me from you. It’s to protect you from me. Like a bra! I don’t wear a bra for me. (Believe me...I hate them) I wear it for you! Tanner and I have always napped together. Since having COVID, if he’s sleeping with me, I wear my mask while I sleep. Yes, it’s claustrophobic, but I do it for him. I now understand why it’s important to wear the mask. I’m already responsible for my immuno-compromised sister getting COVID.  If she died because her immune system couldn’t fight off this thief, and it was all because I didn’t wear a mask, I would never forgive myself. 

I don’t believe that the government is trying to control us by “making” us wear a mask. They “make” us wear seatbelts. Giving us a rule to follow so we don’t get hurt. Where’s the outcry for that?? The problem with us Americans right now is that we’re too damn stubborn. When someone tells us what to do, we have to argue.  For all that is good in this world..wear the damn mask. 

RETIREMENT

Thursday, November 12th was my last day with Central Billing Office.  I’ve been working for Tracey there since 2014, except for 11 months when we moved to Idaho Falls.  Devin and I decided that it was time for me to be home full time with Tanner.  I am so dang excited to be home with him that I can’t even stand it.  That doesn’t mean that I am sad about leaving my job though.  I was a baby when I started working there.  Devin and I had only been married for 3 months, and I hadn’t even turned 20 yet.  They helped me raise Tanner and he has so many “aunts” at CBO.  

I started out my first week being home by being tested for COVID.  A client whose nails I did at the beginning of the month messaged me saying that she tested positive for COVID.  I have felt a little weird.  I can’t taste or smell anything.  Honestly, I’m not sure if I can’t smell/taste because I feel like if I have COVID I shouldn’t be able to, or if it’s just due to a cold.  My brother Kendal thought he had COVID, but his test came back negative last week.  As did my mom and my dads.  My mom’s had cold-like symptoms for the last two weeks.  I’m really praying it’s just a cold.  I’ve felt relatively fine other than I’m tired.  But again, all cold-like symptoms.  Hopefully I will have my results back in the morning.  

Tanner and I took our 4th load of leaves to the dump today. I cannot believe how many freaking leaves are on my lawn.  Bless Devin and all the other years that he’s cleaned them.  Sweet mother of Moses you can’t even understand how many leaves have fallen off of my trees.  Last weekend D gave me one little lesson on how to back a trailer and now I’m basically a pro.  Haha! Not, but really, I’m proud of myself for learning how to back a trailer!  After being married to a farmer for 7 years now, you think I would have learned sooner.  But in D’s defense, I dont have a wonderful track record right now with driving his truck for him to trust me to do it.  LOL! Two Saturday’s ago, I backed the truck into the plow up at Dry Lake.  Then last Saturday, I totally scraped his truck on the mailbox.  I can’t win with this new truck!  I’m so used to just driving my car that I have misjudged distances that last couple of times. Oh well.  Nothing I can do about it now.

I’m excited to be home more now and hopefully be able to keep up with my blog and other things that I want to do. 

August 2020

July 31st, LaDawn had to have emergency surgery. A few days prior she had somehow injured her finger and y’all...it was so red! It needed to be looked at ASAP. She had gone into instacare, they did blood work and determined she had a blood infection. Her appointment on the 31st was with the hand specialist. He determined that if they didn’t do the surgery, she could be septic. The cleaned out the infection as best as they could, but she has to go to the hospital twice a day for 6 weeks to have an antibiotic put in through a PICC line. It’s been rough, but she’s definitely been handling it like a champ! 

On August 2nd, Tanner had to have the COVID test done. Y’all that was awful to watch!! We had zero wait time, but the guy that did the test acted as if he had never been in contact with a child in his entire life. Ladawn had to have the test done before her surgery, and she said they spun the swab like 6 times. YALL HE DID NOT SPIN THE SWAB 6 TIMES. IT WAS LIKE 80! (Also, I was trying to make T feel more comfortable since they come out looking like astronauts...and I tell T to say hi...this man child legit says “hello little boy”.......” I about died right there. So weird!!)

Devin wasn’t allowed to be in the hospital with us. Thanks a lot COVID.  The surgery went well. We took a wonderful nap together after. It was nice that T was tired enough to nap, haha! Giving him medicine around the clock was the worst part. Horrible. Tylenol every 4 hours and ibuprofen every 6. I felt like was constantly shoving a syringe down his throat! And he hated it!! His poor little ears still hurt, I assume from being so close to the nerve. Thankfully he’s doing so much better! His sleeping has improved DRASTICALLY!  Also, little side note--the nurses and anesthesiologist put a name band AND wrapped Barneys foot! How adorable?!

After Ts surgery, we stayed home for a few days. We were able to spend some time with Dev and go to Hill Air Force Base! Y’all...this kid LOVES planes!! He was just in awe. We couldn’t get him out of the car seat before he was yelling “planes! Planes everywhere!” The smile on his face was just heart melting. 

We went to Thanksgiving Point with Uncle Derik the next day and we went to the Butterfly Biosphere. It was so neat! We ate at Smash Burger and then had Maddox for dinner. Y’all—their salmon is TO. DIE. FOR. When I met Devin, he gave me the most perfect saying. “If it swims in the sea, it’s not for me!”  Except for Maddox’s salmon. That is most definitely for me!

On the 17th we got the best surprise EVER! Uncle Kendal came home from his mission!!! He surprised us all and we are so happy to have him back with us! We didn’t think he was supposed to come home until September 9th. What a blessing!!! 

August 22 we went with my family to Bear Lake. We had so much fun!! Tanner is a little fish and he loved being able to spend the day with grandma, papa, aunts, uncles and HADLEY! His little BFF! What a special thing family is. The most important thing in the entire world and we are so lucky to live by both families.

Small review: BMTC (podcast)

Big Mad True Crime-Heather Ashley

Hey y’all—I’m wanting to write about the new podcast I’ve binged on. Big Mad True Crime is a podcast done by Heather Ashley (insta: @theheatherashley) and I LOVE IT! It’s a true crime podcast done by a lady who knows how to get. crap. done. Y’all! I’ve been listening to a lot of true crime podcasts and hers is BY FAR my favorite. 

Heather is not only telling you about a case..she is ACTIVELY helping the families of these victims who have not had justice brought to them! (Monica Moyen and Egypt Covington’s cases are the ones that immediately come to mind—haven’t heard of them?! THATS THE PROBLEM!) She makes phone calls, interviews families and even persons of interest! YALL—she’s not sitting on her bum doing nothing. She is being PROACTIVE! 

Now, I’ll admit that I have written much better reviews...and maybe one day when it’s not past my bedtime...I’ll go into more depth of her podcast..but for now —go give her a follow! Listen to her podcast and be aware of what’s going on. (Yes, there’s some swearing..just FYI—like F bomb swearing so don’t say I didn’t warn you! Heather, if you ever read this I am from Utah aannnnddd I know how much you love Utah hahaha) we can be proactive by making these cases HEARD!! 

With love,

Jess :) 

PS—some of them can be graphic. So again, don’t say I didn’t warn you! I read the title on sweet little Noah Tomlin and couldn’t listen to it. Maybe I’ll get to it when I don’t have a two year old of my own....

Weekend in Idaho

This last weekend we went up to see my family in Idaho! We left Friday morning and stopped at Uncle Krey’s office to have our eyeballs checked. PS—it’s the cutest thing ever to hear Tanner say “eyeballs”. 

Saturday, my cousin McCoy got baptized. What a neat experience to witness, especially during COVID!  We all got to attend, but it was literally straight to the point. We enjoyed a lovely luncheon afterwords. It’s always so nice to see my younger cousins choose to be baptized. I’m one of the older cousins on both my dad and my moms sides. On my dads side, I have cousins younger than 8–they love playing with Tanner! 

Sunday we had a BBQ with my dads family again and then just travelled home. Grandpa has been working in Boise. Helps keep his mind occupied, especially after grandma died.

Thursday night when I was down at my parents house, Lindsie was helping my grandma Karen with her pills...and my grandma says to her “thank you Karen, for helping me” and Lindsie just sits there like...that didn’t sound right, wait, you’re Karen! Haha! I guess part of getting old is being a little bit forgetful! ;)

Thursday during work I got my 5 year pearls! I can’t believe I have been with CBO for 5 years! It would have been 6, but I had my “sabbatical” for a year in Idaho Falls. 

I finally took T up to drylake today. I love our land!! I wore him on my back while we worked with the cows. Thank goodness too! We had one get a little ornery about being AI’ed..that we had to move quick. If I hadn’t of had Tanner on my back, he’d be a squished bug! We had so much fun and I’m glad we have that place to go to get away from the world. Even if it’s tough work and whine and go back and forth on wanting to be a farmers wife..at the end of the day, we love it!!